The Final Chapter, The 3-Day Purge
Below are the written cliff notes from tonight’s live in honor of my 3-day purge. They are rough notes. They may or may not be grammatically correct, and I encourage you to watch the video if you would like the full-effect of what was said. The link is posted below. You may also follow this series on the “Self-Love Talk With Nicole” Facebook page, or research #3DayPurge to find the dedicated Facebook area for all posts.
How it made me feel-. I thought that I had great things to offer. I thought that I could be a positive in his life. I wanted to give him every part of my being, and for that to be treated as if it wasn’t shit. As if I’m not shit, and to still be poked, prodded and cajoled to be around people who clearly had no respect for our relationship or me, it made me feel worthless, unlovable, empty, dead inside. I literally had to deaden myself on the inside to deal with the fact that my feelings really didn’t matter.
Why I am discussing it so publicly? Inexplicable joy from helping others avoid what I went through and seeing God turn pain into purpose.
What about what he and the family members you speak of, how do you think they feel about the videos? Well, I think I care about that as much as they cared about how they treated my marriage.
Do you think you have misplaced anger? Not in the slightest. I am very aware that it is the two people in the relationship who are responsible for holding it together. I don’t blame his family members. It was not their job to make him want to be one with me.