You Must Be Willing to Love Differently
Whether you are a survivor, or you love one, the presence of this experience in your lives will have a profound effect on your relationship. You have to love differently and be loved differently in order to feel secure in the union. If you are not spiritually, mentally, emotionally, physically, or financially prepared and willing to take on the duty of having to love differently, you are not ready to continue the relationship, and it is up to you to decide what you want to do about this.
It is crucial that you are honest every step of the way about your history with abuse and whenever you have the slightest moment of discomfort that triggers you. If these triggering moments are not immediately addressed, they may lead to fractures in the relationship that can lead to a complete break.
If you are an abuse survivor, and you have not sought help- whether through prayers and actions or professional counseling, this is something that must happen before saying, “I do.” If you have already said, “I do,” exploring whether your history with abuse is currently affecting your relationship may be the very thing that saves it.
Finally, if you have been a perpetrator of violence in the past, it is critical that you seek counseling before proceeding with the relationship. If you are currently the aggressor in a relationship, stop reading this book right now, and go get help today. This type of behavior does not simply go away with wishful thinking or mental fortitude. You will need guidance to fix your behavior. If you are the partner to someone who has a history with violence, the best thing that you can do for him is to encourage him to seek help.
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