You Just Have No Standards
One of the things that I use to pride myself on was being “low maintenance.” in romantic relationships, I was not the chick who you had to buy expensive bags or seven-course meals. In all relationships, I was not going to be the one to demand too much of your time or attention if I knew that it was a problem. I would give, and give, and give, but I would not ask for anything in return, because I did not want to be seen as one of those “high maintenance” women. I was a strong woman who proudly wore my Super Woman cape at all times. A recent event changed my perspective.
Yesterday, I asked someone if *they could help me with something. It was a simple task, and they agreed to do it. When it came time for them to follow through, they bailed. I texted this person telling them that I wished that they had come through for me, because I really needed them to keep their word. I went on to type, “I don’t ask for much.” I Don’t Ask for Much…. It suddenly hit me like a ton of bricks. I’m not “low maintenance.” I am not “strong.” I am not any of that. I am merely a person who settles. Today I realized that it was okay to expect more from people.
Sometimes, it’s easy to say we do something because we are “content in God’s will,” or we “love” someone, or “it’s”only a season,” when the truth is that you just don’t have any standards. It is not a badge of honor to be a martyr, the Strong Black Woman (SBW) who does not need anyone to do anything for her, a doormat, and/or the one who never speaks up for something better. You should want more from your life. I should want more for my life than to be resigned to staying in a dead place and even worse, trying to be a pretty spin on it. It’s okay to be great and have your greatness recognized.
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*The word “they” is being used in order to not specify gender.